Frost on the Pain
I don’t want to think these thoughts again
Not because they’re any less deserving
But because of what they do for me – not much
Not much good that is, though lots of all things bad.There’s plenty of bad stuff to focus on
If I should choose to walk that road once more –
The pending cycle of the pokes and checks
The scans and smears and scopes and
All the differential fears that rise from
Every ache and pain – could this be it
All back again in some remote
Location unbeknownst to all
Till far too late?And then regrets – of fortune found and lost
Through silliness and pride – it’s like a drink
Concocted of some vile offending brew
Dressed up with color bright then
Served – “all this and twist of lemon too”.I hear the yanks who can’t afford the docs
And live along the borderlands go south
Stock up on pills and potions for a song
Get cut-rate health and dental care
Along with people just like them –
The poor and dispossessed – by nation –
Out beyond the margins
Nonetheless.It’s pretty bad when now I service get
And scans and scopes flood in as those
Of ‘our estate’ find selves restored just
Like the book and play to style and
Fashion of our lives ‘deserving’ of our
Place and level of our care,
Say ‘this is good’. – Good?The drink is bitters
Which we drink each cycle round
Of tests and probes and fear of what is found
Of chemo-head and burns
To skin and violence of
Gut reacting to reality
Of war within and out
Till we are spent.It’s hard enough to deal with all of that
Without the lemon, thanks – the only
Thanks that finds its way to surface
As I push myself on forward once again.I’ve had it light – so light – and yet the hit
Of cancer seeks to suck the life from me
For though I took the double hit,
It was not me, just me, but us –
We took the hit, and had to deal
With all the lemon and the
Splash of hell from cancer’s brew.So now it’s just the brew – and I can find
Scarce energy to worry ’bout my peers down
There on second deck of steerage’ quiet hold
Who suck on lemons in their pain
As way of life – no freedom reigns
For them in life or death – just
Misery’s foul drink with
Twisted fate of lemon too.I’m not supposed to see up here on upper decks
Like some Titanic ship with lovers split apart
Who long to sing of freedom at the prow
But settle for some steamy moments
Deep below – stolen quiet from the
System that enforces up and down
To live and die together –
Save the desperation of
Those lives below –
No option to be
Nice or no, to
Others without
Cost.How strange – those months I strained and chaffed
Against the bonds that held me – crying ‘don’t
You see, I’m one of you – where is the
Fare that I deserve?’ Then found
It was an error made and so
I’d gotten thrust amongst the
Dispossessed a while –And now? Now that my “fortune’s” been restored
And I recipient am of what I “just deserve”?
What now? To walk among those rich
And powerful, and those just not quite
So, as though I’d never seen and
Felt and heard what I’d been
Through of twist of lemon
With my drink which
Others still endure?I think not so – Good move, my Lord, for
I’d not gone there on my own I know
For pleasure and no pain is what I like,
And reasons plenty I can give why I should
Walk this pleasant road and take my
Bitter drink without the lemon, thanks
Just anyway.So what to think – in this fair world
With fouled drink and lemon twists and shifting
Fates – for some of us so brief.I see the crystal frost upon the pane as moisture
From the house creeps through the crack
And settles with its beauty in the sun –
I camera take and look again as child-like
We’d all done as kids, then left
That world of sparkle for this
Adult world that’s almost done –But it’s still there – and more – far more
For us to reach and touch and drink up
Like some cocktailed brew of life and
Love and beauty all around.For all of us – on all the slimy decks
We’ve made for better or for worse –
And maybe this can call us all to
Something better than we have today –
Not just for us – for all – not
Just for those in this fair
Country, but for all –
A place of justice
On this globe
Transcending greed
And self-defense –That speaks of scarcity and woe
Awash in waste above below
Within, without, yet so few know
How twisted things are here in snow
“Just-us” we say, and then
We go about our lives, “Say it’s not so".And now, I camera take once more to see the world
Afresh from this changed point of view –
I’m different now – I’ve seen and felt the
Pain – both kinds – far down below
And nothing can erase from me
The knowledge that like
Pyramids afar the base
That holds the point
Up to the sky is
Massive like the
Gymnasts’ stance –Who hold their lightest member high
To lift up arms in vibrant
Victory – for all.navigation