Release From Co-dependence

Beware – lest co-dependence rise once more;
So subtle that, though booted out the door
It creeps back in, “Let my philosophy
Direct your life – I’ll comfort bring to thee”.

But that’s not true – it looks good at the first,
Like nursing days as kids – it slacks our thirst;
For when upon our mother’s breast we fed,
Dependency was way of life we led.

But we grew strong (the purpose of that food) –
Grew independent – on our feet we stood;
Tried out our wings – flew to the sun’s bright light,
Felt melting wax – “Oooo – that was not too bright!”

We tried again – repeatedly we fell,
But gradually we found we did quite well;
Like baby robins from a nest outgrown,
We took to wing – to adult life, full blown.

Along the way of independent life,
We found our lives enhanced by “husband-wife”
As concept – interactive dancing steps;
We formed our “spousal units” – no regrets.

At end of life we find the way is hard;
Dependency comes back by inch or yard;
As “inter-“, “in-“, both flee from daily life,
Dependency now cuts us like a knife.

For we’ve not lived that way since we were kids;
Those independent years that preference rids,
Then inter-active life brought greater health,
And carried us to adulthood and wealth.

But, such is life – a cycle short or long;
For some, ill-health can make it all go wrong;
But by and large that’s how the cycle goes,
Dependent to dependent – so life flows.

But here’s the twist – the part that creeps back in –
It’s codependence – after we have been
A child, dependent in our mother’s arms,
Dependency persists with faulty charms.

The essence of dependent life for all,
Is “Please don’t leave – in leaving I will fall,
And die, for I’m dependent on your care,
Without it I will fail beyond repair”.

That’s true, of course, when we were all just kids;
Dependent we – abandonment just rids
Us of our hope that we’ll mature to be,
The folks God had in mind and hoped to see.

But as we grew beyond our need for care,
For independent life we soon prepared;
Did fine till inter-action peaked the curve –
Life works – if we persist – don’t spook and swerve.

“The tendency to find an adult mom
Or dad, who’ll care for us until life is done,
While we’re still able, fit, mature, and keen”,
Is “co-dependence” – this is what I mean:

It’s “co-” (that’s two) for partner also seeks,
A mom or dad their sustenance to meet;
“I’ll feed you till you’re strong enough to meet,
My needs – closed system – at the start looks sweet.

But soon its twisted basis goes awry;
It’s downward spiral is the reason why;
Like friction in perpetual machine,
Each round of help is less than what has been.

The cure? break out for independent life;
Insist on inter-action from your wife,
Or husband, business partner, group, or church –
They will not “die, abandoned in the lurch”.

For they aren’t kids, dependent on their mom;
They’re adults – co-dependency is done –
As they rise up and enter in the fray,
They’ll find they fly just fine and make their way –

In adult for life despite their former fears;
Once snags are blown and path of life’s made clear,
They’ll love you for new lease on life each day,
And chance to live the inter-active way.

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