As If
He said he clear recalls the day
He stopped and to himself did say,
“I’m going to live from here on in
‘As if’ – and thus new life begin.“That’s over now; retirement’s here;
I’m drifting back – my ‘self’ more near
Than it has been throughout my life;
‘I like the nicer you’, says wife.”O Lord, I thank you for the days
Of reservation’s troubled ways,
Where they reached in and drew me out –
They knew me well without a doubt.Down here in South the kids don’t know
Just who they are, it’s all a show –
“When with my teacher I’m this way;
With clergy, peers, I bend and sway.“But when I’m here and door is closed,
And in the evening ’fore reposed,
I ask myself, ‘Well, what’s most real
In how I act, and how I feel?’“ ‘O real me, do stand up, please,
And wave a hand amongst all these,
So I will know which one is me –
‘As if’ no longer meets my needs’”But Lord, to choose to live that way
(Drift into it a bit each day
Is one thing – but to clear decide)
To live ‘as if’ kills me inside.I thank you Lord, that’s at an end;
That he no longer has to bend
The person you designed to be
A blessing – now he’s been set free.Lord, for the folks of younger years
Who face a life of bitter tears,
Give them the courage to awake
To who they are – for Goodness’ sake.navigation