The Age Of Innocence

Strange thing is dusk –
     With sky of deepening blue –
           Lighter in the West
               As earth rolls onward
                    Into depending
                         Night.

My day was bright,
     And brighter till the noon day
          Of maturing years –
               Until this time.

And then –
     All through those heady teenage years,
          I felt the zest and vigor
              Of my rising
                   Strength –

Matched as it was
     With thrills,
          And joys,
               And wonder
                    Of maturing heart,
                         And mind,
                              And body –

“Who am I?”
     I found that question
          Swirled around
               The deep recesses
                    Of my soul –

Exposing depth
     I did not know was there –
          And yet it was –
               Then echoes of that cry
                    Called back from deep
                         Outside myself,
                               Increasing
                                    Yet again
                                         A deeper
                                              Wonder
                                                    In my soul.

And then it came –
     Conflicted time for me to go –
          That time for me to leave
               Protective days,
                   And nights
                         Inside that home
                              I’d grown to love,
                                  And now found
                                        I’d outgrown –

And so I left –
     High hopes,
          Great expectations,
               Matched with firm
                    Determine step –
                         As I left home,
                              Drove long uneasy miles
                                    Into a life
                                         So new –
                                              Alone.

I made it through –
     It was quite hard,
          And yet I won!

Still puzzled though
     About that flow of prayers
          For me each day,
              As I fulfilled
                   The daily round of class,
                        And books,
                             And life
                                  Of mental
                                       Stretch –

But now I know –
     Or, if it’s not exact,
          It’s of the type –
               For in this summer break
                    (I’d faced with such relief)
                          I hit that wall –

And felt its crushing weight
     Against the fragile nature
          Of my soul.

Dear Lord,
      If it were not for grace
           So freely given by You
                Throughout these days
                     Of horror and disgust,
                          I don’t know
                               How I could
                                     Have
                                           Coped.

Dear Lord,
     Is this what adult life
          Is really all about?
               Played out each day and night
                   With filth and
                         Degradation –
                              Not from the folks
                                   Who struggle in
                                        The desperation
                                             Of their sordid
                                                   Lives.

No – not from them,
     The helped –
          But from the very folks
              Who are the ones
                   To whom they’ve
                        Turned
                             For help.

Dear Lord –
     Each night as I retreat
          Into the shelter
              Of this sanctuary
                    I call home,
                         I find You
                              There –

Complete with gifts of food
     And drink,
          Which brings
               A settling
                    Comfort
                         To my soul.

And most of all
     Your gift of water –
          Flooding from the shower,
               Taking with it all the
                    Grime and filth
                         Picked up by me
                             Today,
                                   In this
                                        Environment.

You said, O Lord,
     Refreshment’s what we’ll need,
          And therefore we’d best
               Wash each other’s feet,
                    Or else we’ll die –

You took a towel,
     And bowl,
          And washed the feet
               Of those
                    God gave to You –
                         To train,
                              And send
                                    Into the world,
                                        With salt,
                                              And light,
                                                   And leaven,
                                                        For their
                                                             Troubled
                                                                  Much distorted
                                                                       Ways
                                                                            Of doing life.

I see it, Lord!
     As now I feel that draw,
          To rush back home –
               No – not to stay,
                    Not even spend much time,
                         Before I come back here
                              To do another week
                                   Of helping those
                                        Who have so
                                              Little
                                                   In
                                                        Their lives –

Lord, you were correct –
     I need to touch –
          Be touched –
               By those so near,
                    And precious
                         To my soul –

To feel once more
     Their cleansing touch,
          Uplifting words,
               Not extra given –
                    But normal like –
                          From hearts
                               Redeemed
                                    From all of this –
                                         By You.

And thus
     Be cleansed
          Once more
               By You,
                    Through them,
                         As they,
                              With towel girt
                                   And a basin filled,
                                        Refresh my dusty feet –
                                             And thus restore my soul,
                                                  Once more,
                                                       On Your behalf.

O Lord,
     For this refreshing grace –
          And healing touch –
               And gracious Word –
                     I give You thanks
                          This night.

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